


Reconciliation

by Accal1a



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Coda, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accal1a/pseuds/Accal1a
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monty and Jasper have it out, three weeks after the events in Mt. Weather.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reconciliation

**Author's Note:**

> Brief bit of swearing, hence the teen rating.

It was inevitable really, they'd been dancing around each other for weeks - there was only so much distance you could put between two people when everyone lived on top of everyone in the small enclosure where the Ark had crashed. 

The area around the dropship was smaller, but this place was starting to feel like a cage for both of them and if there was one thing they could both agree they never wanted to see again, it was a cage.

To begin with, several people had tried to force reconciliation between them; reminding them, as if they could forget, what good friends they were. Monty knew though that if they were ever going to fix this, they were going to have to have a blowout. It was either going to return everything back to normal or give them both the closure they required to move on with their lives separately.

In the end, it was a simple clumsy act which Jasper performed which allowed them the time to talk.

Jasper was walking back to the Ark from wherever it was he had been sitting, alone. Monty wasn’t sure, having not actually spoken to him, but he thought Jasper had taken up drawing, or writing, or something because he seemed to have a pad with him wherever he went now. The sight had been enough to send Monty into a brief bought of depression; he missed Clarke so much. 

Monty was leaving the Ark to go and sit outside, the walls indoors seeming to close in around him. It was textbook and cliché but they literally ran into each other. Jasper’s pad went flying and Monty automatically caught Jasper who fell over so easily Monty couldn’t understand why he didn’t break more bones. Monty had caught Jasper like this so many times he was losing count and the act of doing something so familiar seemed to break the façade that he had been showing to people and his eyes welled up.

Jasper saw the glaze which formed in Monty’s eyes and turned around and walked back the way he came, angry that Monty was the one who was upset, angry that the fates had conspired to make them meet when he had been trying so hard to keep him at bay.

“Jasper!” Monty called, knowing it was now or never.

“You killed Maya!” Jasper screamed, hair flinging wildly as he turned.

“I know.” Monty said quietly and patiently, knowing this was one argument that they just had to have.

“You know? Is that all you have to say?” Jasper replied, closing the distance he’d just put between them.

“I would do it again in a heartbeat, Jas.” Monty said in the same quiet and calm voice

“Don’t you…” Jasper paused, breath hitching, “Don’t you DARE call me that.”

Then, seeming to process what Monty had said, raised his voice to screeching point. “You would do it AGAIN? You wouldn’t change anything?”

“No.” Monty replied, still speaking quietly, as if to a spooked horse.

Jasper punched him. It wasn’t surprising and it didn’t hurt all that much. Despite Jasper’s anger, he was still scrawny and bony and now also weak from the very small amounts of food he was forced to eat when people noticed he wasn’t bothering.

Monty looked him dead in the face afterwards and saw a flash of worry cross Jasper’s face. He could read all of his friend’s emotions. Jasper wore his heart on his sleeve and Monty knew him well enough to understand what he was saying even if he wasn’t saying it.

Jasper seemed to deflate after the physical exertion and just sunk to the mud, crying silently.

Monty knelt in the mud in front of him, his movements still slow.

“Jas..” Monty said, reaching for his shoulder.

Jasper flinched and pulled back, speaking through gritted teeth. “I said, don’t. call. me. that.”

“Jasper…”

“And I don’t want to talk to you anyway.” Jasper said, getting ready to stand. The tears had disappeared and a resolve had hardened on his face. He felt like he was on a rollercoaster at the moment. Every little thing had the capacity to cause him to break down or break it. He was either devastated or angry, there didn’t seem to be any middle ground anymore.

Monty saw Jasper’s muscles tense, knew that he was going to stand and put both of his hands on Jasper’s shoulders, keeping them both in the mud.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jasper asked, putting his arms up and out, to break Monty’s hold.

“Don’t you think we should talk about this?” Monty tried, wanting to give this his all before conceding defeat.

“If I wanted to talk about this, I’d find a _friend_ and talk to them about it.” Jasper replied coldly, actually managing to stand.

Monty was now kneeling at his feet and the sneer which Jasper had forming did nothing to instil hope in Monty’s heart. This wasn’t a time for begging or crying, this was a time for a show of force.

Monty sprang to his feet and pushed Jasper back with both hands, causing him to stumble a little, though he kept his feet.

“Monty, what?” Jasper asked, confused.

Monty continued to push Jasper backwards, his movements getting quicker and stronger as his rage built. Eventually they found the outside of another part of the Ark and Jasper slammed back into the wall, causing it to clang. Monty didn’t stop there, he continued to prod Jasper, punctuating his sentences with jabs from his fingers.

“Do you think you’re the only one dealing with this?” Monty asked, raising his voice. “Do you think you have the monopoly on sadness? Do you think there is a single person in this camp who isn’t grieving about someone or something?”

“I…” Jasper started.

Monty wouldn’t let him finish. “Do you think that I have been sitting here, day after day, HAPPY that I killed over 300 people? Did you think I didn’t know there were KIDS in that room when I hacked that programme? Do you think I didn’t agonise about whether or not to tell Clarke I had done it? Do you think that I don’t HATE myself for what I did?”

“I…” Jasper attempted again.

“No!” Monty shouted, jabbing harder into Jasper’s ribs. “No! You don’t get to talk, this is my turn. How DARE you think that your grief is any different from anyone elses! The things I’ve done…” Monty said, tailing off at the end. “The things we’ve done…” he tried again, unsure how to continue.

“It’s…” Jasper said, louder this time.

“I mean we’ve been here 73 days Jas. SEVENTY. THREE. DAYS. I’ve had coursework deadlines which were longer than that! The things we’ve seen. What we’ve had to do to survive. How can you not see…”

Jasper stood up straighter and pushed Monty back gently so they were both just facing each other.

“This was different...” Jasper started, the words a mere whisper on his lips. “This was murder.”

Monty threw his hands in the air. “Well then yeah, Jasper I’m a murderer.”

Jasper opened his mouth to say something else.

Monty crowded into his personal space again, finger out and jabbing. “And you know what? I’d do it again, I’d do exactly the same thing. Every. Single. Time.”

“You said that earlier.” Jasper said, sadly. “Was she not, did you not, wasn’t she your friend too?”

“THIS ISN’T ABOUT MAYA!” Monty screamed right in Jasper’s face.

Jasper crumbled then, tears starting to fall again. “I loved her. I love her.” He said quietly.

Monty softened slightly. “I know, I know Jas. Don’t you think if there had been another way I would have found it?”

Jasper had one of his quick switches and anger bubbled to the surface again. “There WAS another way. If you had just given me the time…”

“It wouldn’t have worked Jasper, you must have known that.” Monty said patiently.

“It would have, if you’d just given me…”

“YOU WERE CHAINED TO A WALL!” Monty screamed.

There was a pause where the shout seemed to echo around the alcove they were standing in.

“What?” Jasper asked, genuinely confused.

Monty was crying now and he didn’t cry like Jasper. Jasper would cry perfect tears, looking beautiful and tragic all at once. Monty cried as if his entire soul was leaking from his eyes. It was messy and difficult and infrequent and he bowed his head to try to get a hold of himself. He knew full well that he wouldn’t be able to, once he started his tears had to run their course; no amount of consolation would do it.

“You were in handcuffs Jas, they chained you to a fucking wall.” Monty swore quietly, slightly deflated and it was a very rare occurrence because Monty didn’t normally see the point in swearing. Doing so now only proved to both of them that he was on the edge.

“Monty…”

“No! You don’t get it! How can you not get it?” Monty replied, starting to scream again at the top of his lungs.

A few people glanced over but went back to their business quickly when they saw there was no immediate danger. Several people actually smiled, hoping this would be the end of the boys’ stalemate.

“You were led into that… into that TORTURE chamber in handcuffs and chained to a damn wall!”

“But I wasn’t…” Jasper started.

“Yeah, I know you had a plan.” Monty sneered. He wiped his face with his hands before continuing, knowing it would make no difference. 

“But how was I supposed to know that? All I saw was you being…being TIED UP and knowing that you were going to be, that you’d have to, that someone would strap you down and take out your insides! You were going to have to endure…you don’t know Jas…You have NO IDEA. It’s like you’re…there’s no point in…when it stops, you…” Then it was as if all the fight had left him because he sank down to the ground, heaving sobs and trying to talk through them.

“I couldn’t let them…” 

“You’d have been…” 

“It wasn’t a choice...”

Jasper sat down next to Monty, unsure whether he should be touching him or not, whether his comfort was wanted or even acceptable at this juncture. Monty was muttering, quieter now, but in the still night Jasper could hear him.

“I see their bodies…” 

“Damn my programming skills…” 

“I’m just a kid…we’re all just kids…”

Jasper did reach out then, putting his arm around his friend and Monty just collapsed into him sobbing for all he was worth, words drying up as quickly as the moisture was falling from his eyes.

They stayed like that for a while, Monty leaning into the comforting shoulder of Jasper, even if it was more bony than usual. He really had lost a lot of weight, Monty noticed absently. 

Eventually, Monty’s tears stopped and he pulled himself away from Jasper.

Jasper let Monty go, giving him the space he needed.

Monty looked Jasper right in the eyes then, speaking softly. “I couldn’t lose you Jas. This world, this fight, I can’t do this without you.”

Jasper swallowed, unsure how to phrase the next sentence.

“I’m…I’m sorry I haven’t been here.” Jasper said, settling for the obvious.

“No, you had your own…I’m so sorry about Maya.” Monty replied, searching Jasper’s face for any change in emotion.

Jasper bowed his head again at the mention of her, the grief rising up again. With tears pooled in his eyes he replied, “I know.”

By unspoken agreement, they both stood then, realising that things had changed and not knowing how to move forward.

Monty turned to go but Jasper’s voice pulled him back.

“Monty?”

“Yes?”

“You did the best you could.”


End file.
